Staff Reports
Oh boy, hold onto your ice cream cones because there’s been quite a stir in the frozen dessert world! The parent company of Ben & Jerry’s, that scrumptious brand we all know and love, has taken a major hit in the stock market. Unilever, the big boss behind the scenes, saw their stock prices plummet by nearly $2 billion. Yikes!
BREAKING: The stock price for Ben & Jerry’s has plummeted by nearly $2 BILLION after conservatives began boycotting the company over their recent comments portraying hatred towards America and its founding fathers.
GO WOKE, GO BROKE! 👏https://t.co/mSKiXaPHCF
— Proud Elephant 🇺🇸🦅 (@ProudElephantUS) July 7, 2023
Why, you ask? Well, it all started with a tweet. This past 4th of July, Ben & Jerry’s decided to get all political on us and called for the return of “stolen Indigenous land” by the good ol’ United States to Native American tribes. Talk about a way to ruin a backyard BBQ! These folks at Ben & Jerry’s thought it was high time to recognize that the US exists on “stolen Indigenous land” and actually commit to giving it back. Sounds like they got a big scoop of woke for dessert.
According to the New York Post, the tweet went a little something like this: “This 4th of July, it’s high time we recognize that the US exists on stolen Indigenous land and commit to returning it.” Woah, wait a minute! Does this mean we have to find a new place for our fireworks show?
The anger only grew when they took a jab at the faces on Mount Rushmore. Apparently, these ice cream enthusiasts claimed that the presidents whose faces are etched into that famous mountain actively worked to destroy Indigenous cultures and denied them their rights. They even had the audacity to call them “colonizers.” Give us a break, Ben & Jerry’s! Maybe they should stick to making ice cream and leave the history lessons to the experts.
Well, as you can imagine, this tweet didn’t sit well with a lot of folks. People were furious! Social media exploded with angry comments and calls to boycott Ben & Jerry’s. Even some Native Americans themselves spoke out, saying they didn’t need the ice cream company to be offended on their behalf. One user, Leslie, whose ancestors include Chief Sitting Bull, was embarrassed by the whole thing. She said, “We don’t need you to be offended on our behalf. Why don’t you go to Pine Ridge, S.D. and help for real?”
Brigitte Gabriel wasn’t shy about sharing her opinion either. She branded Ben & Jerry’s as “woke ice cream” and claimed she would never eat it again. That’s a big statement from someone who really knows her way around a tub of Rocky Road!
But here’s the icing on the cake, or rather, the cherry on top of this whole situation. One Twitter user had the audacity to point out the hypocrisy of Ben & Jerry’s grand statement. They reminded everyone that the Ben & Jerry’s factory itself is built on what they called “stolen land.” Apparently, Native Americans, primarily from the Abenaki tribe, have been living in Vermont for a whopping 10,000 years. So, talk about biting the hand that scoops your ice cream!
All this backlash and controversy from Ben & Jerry’s has taken a toll on Unilever’s market value. That’s right, folks, their stock prices took a nosedive from $130.2 billion to a cool $128.5 billion. The conservative media outlets wasted no time in pointing fingers and calling it the effect of the boycott. Citizen Free Press and Fox News were all over this news, showing the dropping numbers like the cherry on top of a sundae.
So, there you have it, folks. Ben & Jerry’s decided to step into the political arena, and it seems they got a rocky response. It’s no surprise that people were outraged by their simplistic view of history and their call to give away land. Maybe next time, they’ll stick to what they do best: making delicious ice cream. Leave the political commentary to those of us who know that the world is a bit more complex than a scoop of Chunky Monkey.
