Staff Reports
The latest revelations from the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) are nothing short of jaw-dropping, showcasing just how tightly the Biden administration has its hands wrapped around taxpayer dollars. Amidst the Democratic anthem of endless COVID relief funding, it turns out that money meant to help struggling Americans was funneled into some truly bizarre places, including loans to elementary school “business owners” and even individuals ancient enough to have witnessed the invention of the wheel, or at least the signing of the Emancipation Proclamation.
The staggering figure of $2 billion in “misplaced” funds at the Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) is just the tip of the iceberg in this governmental circus act. Over a shocking 2020-2021 span, the Small Business Administration (SBA) blessed a whopping 5,593 loans totaling $312 million to “business owners” still in diapers. It’s safe to say that while regular kids were doing their best in remote learning, we can ponder who was actually supervising these 11-year-olds running supposed empires that don’t even exist. And let’s not forget the added absurdity: these pint-sized entrepreneurs, sporting Social Security numbers that don’t match their names, were somehow part of the lending equation. Talk about creative accounting—if only they’d spent that energy on homework instead.
As if the ruckus over kindergarten millionaires wasn’t enough, the SBA also greenlit over 3,000 loans worth $333 million to folks allegedly over 115 years old. One particularly fictional “borrower,” purported to be a spry 157 years old, snagged a swift $36,000. Who knew that the secret to a long life was starting a business during the pandemic? Maybe it’s a new kind of entrepreneurial elixir.
While Democrats would prefer to sweep this mess under the rug, Elon Musk’s uncovering of this farce deserves more than just acknowledgment—it’s a significant public service. Instead of the heartfelt cries about saving big entitlement programs, shouldn’t there be some scrutiny aimed at the billions wasted that could actually bolster those very same funds? Yet, here we are, living in a world where the solution for Democrats is yet more taxing, rather than holding the bureaucrats accountable for their irresponsible cash distribution.
This scenario echoes a pattern of criminal negligence wrapped in government incompetence. Each misplaced dollar destined for invisible children and forgetful elder “business owners” represents a betrayal of legitimate small businesses barely hanging on. The Biden administration’s promised “oversight” is sounding more like a phantom ghost story at this point.
The events unfolding can only bolster the argument for bringing Trump back into the higher ranks of leadership. His decision to empower Musk as a watchdog over government waste drew the ire of the left for supposedly creating a conflict of interest. But clearly, the fear was based on exposing a financial free-for-all where taxpayer funds flowed like water into shadowy accounts. Next time the Democrats scream about needing emergency funding, remember that their definition of “emergency relief” covers everything from mythical businesses run by toddlers to long-lost relics from history who can’t possibly contribute to the economy the way real, hard-working Americans do.
