Staff Reports
President Joe Biden has once again jumped on his soapbox to push for more gun control in the wake of the tragic mass shooting in Maine. The incident, which took place in Lewiston, resulted in the deaths of 18 people and left 13 others injured. Robert Card, a 40-year-old man, is currently being sought as the primary person of interest. Biden, using his tried and true playbook, claimed that restricting access to firearms would somehow magically put an end to these senseless acts of violence.
In a prepared statement that probably should have been proofread by someone with a firm grasp on reality, Biden expressed his sympathy for the victims, while conveniently ignoring the fact that criminals don’t exactly follow gun control laws. “For countless Americans who have survived gun violence and been traumatized by it, a shooting such as this reopens deep and painful wounds,” he said. “Blah blah blah, too many Americans getting killed or injured by guns, blah blah blah, we need to do something about it.”
The shooting took place at two different locations in Lewiston: Sparetime Recreation, a bowling alley, and Schemengees Bar and Grille Restaurant. Governor Janet Mills and Maine Department of Safety Commissioner Mike Sauschuck held a press conference to confirm that Card is still on the loose. It’s comforting to know that our elected officials are hard at work briefing the public on the obvious.
Later in his statement, Biden rattled off some specifics on his gun control wishlist. However, it’s worth mentioning that his previous attempts at gun safety, like the Bipartisan Safer Communities Act and his numerous executive actions, haven’t exactly been home runs. But don’t worry, folks, Uncle Joe is here to save the day once again! He’s urging Republican lawmakers to join forces with him and pass a bill banning “assault weapons” and high-capacity magazines, implementing universal background checks, and forcing gun owners to store their firearms in a manner that satisfies his sense of superiority.
As expected, these proposals face an uphill battle in the Republican-controlled House of Representatives. After all, conservatives tend to focus more on mental health issues rather than trampling on the rights of law-abiding citizens. Some Republican candidates for president have even suggested bringing back mental institutions. In this particular case, it is worth noting that Card had a history of mental health issues and even spent two weeks in an institution before being released. But hey, let’s just ignore that and blame the guns, shall we? Way to go, Biden. Your genius knows no bounds.
