Staff Reports
President Joe Biden recently decided to share his musings on the highly anticipated debate between former President Donald Trump and Vice President Kamala Harris as he strolled outside the White House, which of course is exactly what a president should prioritize in the middle of a chaotic political landscape. Biden’s comment-filled stroll also included a peculiar note about his schedule, mentioning plans for “doing 9/11” after celebrating his granddaughter’s birthday in New York. Apparently, a balanced life means a birthday party followed by a postmodern take on remembrance.
As if the confusion couldn’t deepen, the president advised reporters that he had communicated with Harris prior to her big showdown, describing her as calm, cool, and collected. One can only wonder if that cool demeanor translates into actual competence when it comes to debating someone as seasoned and sharp-witted as Trump. However, speculation looms over whether Harris will heed his advice after witnessing Biden’s embarrassing performance against Trump a couple of months ago. Remember that debate? The one where Biden stumbled through incoherent statements, sounding like he just came off a rollercoaster ride with a serious case of vertigo? Right, that’s the one.
🚨 BIDEN JUST NOW: “Tomorrow, I’m doing 9/11”
Bro… 🤣 pic.twitter.com/cixRvCvE8D
— Nick Sortor (@nicksortor) September 10, 2024
Biden’s last debate is being discussed as one of the major blunders of his political career, perhaps more problematic than forgetting his own name. The man spoke in a raspy voice that sounded like he had been chain-smoking for a week and delivered answers that made one cringe. “I finally beat Medicare” might just be some sort of political equivalent of a bad dad joke, only without the punchline and plenty of bewilderment. Adding to the spectacle, he appeared to lose a game of eye contact with debate moderator Jake Tapper, who was probably thinking this was part of a comedy sketch rather than a serious political exchange.
Behind the smiles and waves, a shadowy narrative surfaced, hinting at a plot led by former President Barack Obama alongside Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer and the notoriously cagey Nancy Pelosi. This trio was reportedly engaged in a campaign to persuade Biden to step aside, perhaps out of a mix of pity and necessity. After all, who wouldn’t want to push a president into retirement when he seems a little lost in the debates? It’s a wonder Biden hasn’t been given a set of training wheels by now.
As the debate approaches, questions arise about Biden’s endorsement of Harris, which many suggest came from a place of frustration with fellow Democrats who have been pushing him around like a pawn on a chessboard, especially after whispers of invoking the 25th amendment floated through the air. It has been suggested that Obama isn’t exactly enthused about Harris stepping into the ring either. Allegedly, insiders have declared that she is bound to mess up her talking points regarding sensitive topics. Who is not placing bets on whether she’ll manage to trip over her own words when discussing Israel or Ukraine? At this point, those debates should come with their own designated lifeguard.
