Staff Reports
Hot off the presses! President Joe Biden, the sprightly 81-year-old, is making headlines once again, not for his legendary charisma, but for needing a helping hand or two when it comes to boarding Air Force One. The White House has decided to assign an extra Secret Service agent to watch over him as he climbs the stairs to the presidential aircraft. Talk about needing a babysitter!
Given Biden’s recent “oopsies” while boarding Air Force One, where he almost took a tumble, the powers that be have decided to give him a break by installing shorter stairs. Because, you know, long stairs are just so darn tricky to navigate, especially for a seasoned statesman like President Biden. It’s all about safety first, folks!
Biden, 81, now has a Secret Service agent stand at the bottom of Air Force One steps to make sure he doesn't fall https://t.co/udEAV3Bqkr
— Ben Owen (@hrkbenowen) February 19, 2024
Of course, the critics are having a field day with this latest development. Those sneaky conservatives are using Biden’s stairway stumbles as fodder to question his ability to lead the country. They’re all like, “Hey Joe, if you can’t handle stairs, how on earth can you handle running a whole country?” It’s a valid point, if you ask me.
With all this drama unfolding around Biden’s staircase shenanigans, the White House is taking no chances. Alongside the military personnel, a trusty Secret Service agent is now stationed at the bottom of the stairs, probably armed with a first aid kit and a pair of comfy slippers, just in case Biden’s tootsies start acting up.
And if that wasn’t enough, a report by Special Counsel Robert Hur has added fuel to the fire. Apparently, Biden’s memory and cognition are coming under scrutiny, with tales of him struggling to recall events and fumbling over his notes like a kid in a spelling bee gone wrong. Yikes!
The big question on everyone’s lips now is whether Biden is up to the task of being president. Can he handle the pressures of leading the country when he can’t even handle a flight of stairs? Only time will tell, but one thing’s for sure – politics just got a whole lot more interesting, folks!
