Staff Reports
Oh boy, get ready for the latest White House gate crash! A reckless driver smashed their grey SUV right into the gate of the White House on Monday evening. Well, that’s just great – as if President Biden doesn’t have enough on his plate already, dealing with this mess. But fear not! The heroic Secret Service swooped in and took the driver into custody faster than you can say “law and order.”
🚨🚨 JUST IN: Driver In Custody After Car Slams Into White House Gatehttps://t.co/0zYG9kzEbp
— 🇺🇸🇺🇸Josh Dunlap🇺🇲🇺🇲 ULTRA-MAGA (@JDunlap1974) January 9, 2024
According to the Secret Service spokesperson Anthony Guglielmi, they’re all over this one like cheese on a pizza. The investigation is underway to figure out just what in the world caused this chaos. While they’re at it, they’re giving that grey SUV a thorough once-over to make sure there aren’t any surprises hiding inside. You can never be too careful, especially with all the nutty stuff happening these days.
And speaking of surprises, guess what? President Biden wasn’t even at the White House when this nutty driver decided to go kamikaze on the gate. Thank goodness for small blessings, right? Guglielmi also warned that traffic might get all backed up around the White House, so if you’ve got plans to swing by and say hi to the Prez, you might want to think twice.
If you thought this was a one-time thing, think again! Just last month, some other yahoo plowed into ol’ Joe’s motorcade while he was off doing his thing at a fundraiser in Delaware. The nerve of some people, interrupting the President’s day like that. Fortunately, they quickly figured out that the driver had one too many cocktails before getting behind the wheel.
You know, it’s no surprise that the White House has been beefing up its security. They’ve been slapping on taller and sturdier fences faster than you can say “keep out, ya ding-dongs.” The National Park Service even busted out a 13-foot fence with wider posts to make sure nobody gets any funny ideas about pulling a Spider-Man and climbing over it.
