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Boom! Biden Missing from 2024 New Hampshire Primary Ballot!

President Joe Biden will not be on the New Hampshire primary ballot for the 2024 presidential election, which is great news for anyone who enjoys sanity and coherent sentences. Seriously, have you listened to this guy speak? It’s like he’s playing a game of Mad Libs with his own brain. But I digress.

Biden’s campaign manager, Julie Chavez Rodriguez, broke the news in a letter to Raymond Buckley, the chairman of the New Hampshire Democratic Party. Apparently, the Democratic National Committee doesn’t think it’s a good idea for Biden to file for a spot on the state’s primary ballot. And honestly, who can blame them? The last thing they need is Joe stumbling his way through a debate, making up words and forgetting what state he’s in.

In the letter, Rodriguez explained that Biden is “obligated” to comply with the rules set by the Democratic National Committee, which apparently include not embarrassing yourself on live TV. She also made it clear that this decision only applies to the primary and that Biden still plans to have his name on the general election ballot. God help us all.

But hey, at least there’s some good news. According to a poll from September, Biden has a comfortable lead over his potential GOP opponents in New Hampshire. He’s even beating Donald Trump, which is impressive considering Trump hasn’t even announced if he’s running yet. Of course, the poll also showed Biden trouncing his Democratic challenger, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., who couldn’t even scrape together double-digit support. Maybe Kennedy realized that running against Biden would be as futile as trying to explain common core math to a goldfish.

All in all, this is probably for the best. Let Biden focus on his teleprompter and leave the real campaigning to someone who can actually form a coherent thought. Maybe then we’ll have a chance of getting the country back on track.

Written by Staff Reports

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