Staff Reports
It looks like it’s another day in the office of the Great Big Apple where Mayor Eric Adams has decided to sprinkle $1.6 million of taxpayer money to hand out panic buttons to business owners. Now, picture this: instead of a big, beefy police force patrolling the streets, there’s a shiny, little button on the wall, just waiting to be pushed. It’s almost as if New York has suddenly transformed into a giant version of a Chuck-e-Cheese’s. Ah, but there’s no pizza or grabby claw machines, only tax dollars getting gobbled up in pursuit of some button-induced crime-fighting.
You see, it’s not so much about the crime, it’s more about the interesting ways politicians, like our dear mayor, choose to, uh, “solve” it. Here’s a thought: what about actually letting police officers do the job they’re trained for, like enforcing the law or catching the bad guys? But no, the folks in charge decided business owners need the power of their little button to feel safe. One might even suggest a nod to the Second Amendment may be a more tried-and-true method. But those ideas are a tad too spicy for this bland soup.
Meanwhile, the price tag here isn’t just about quirky button installation. Nope, that $1.6 million is coming out of everyone’s pockets, bringing along a mini anger storm cloud. It raises a colorful question: why not invest this chunk of change in hiring more officers or tackling the towering mountain of mental health issues? But instead of handling deep-rooted problems, we’ve got a city caught up with what seems like a Band-Aid over a gushing wound.
And just when it felt like this button adventure was odd enough, we’ve got a city focused on bodegas in high-crime areas like the Bronx, Harlem, and Brooklyn. It paints quite the dramatic scene. Who’s to say such a scenario won’t be waiting just around your corner? But no biggie, folks! There’s a button just a fingertip away, ready to sound the alarm in this wonderland.
So, what’s the conclusion? If someone were a career criminal, New York kind of looks like a jackpot. These new “solutions” make it seem like the city is rolling out a red carpet just for them. It’s an almost comical play on priorities, where everything old is new again, with extra helpings of head-scratching absurdity and none of the much-needed common sense. Boom, baby!
