Staff Reports
Columbia University, once a paragon of liberal ideals, has finally been called to account for its blatant disregard for civil rights and equality. Yielding to the undeniable pressure from the Trump Administration, this prestigious Ivy League institution has been forced to shell out a whopping $200 million settlement. Seems like the reality of their discriminatory practices was too glaring to ignore any longer.
For too long, Columbia has hidden behind an ivory tower shielded by a façade of academic independence, while blatantly violating the rights of Jewish students. Pro-Palestine protesters overran the campus, turning it into a battleground that consistently sidelined Jewish voices. It’s ironic how an institution supposedly priding itself on diversity forgot the meaning of true inclusivity. Only when their precious federal funding was jeopardized did they run back to the negotiating table.
In a dramatic about-face, Columbia has also agreed to end programs that discriminated on the basis of race and gender. Finally, compliance with the Supreme Court’s decision on affirmative action! This move not only aligns with the law of the land but is a stinging setback to those who melancholically pine for a past filled with identity politics and divisive policies.
BREAKING: Ivy League School Caves To Trump Admin, Agrees To Pay $200M Settlement I’llhttps://t.co/7BjizBYfTn
— Proud Elephant 🇺🇸🦅 (@ProudElephantUS) July 24, 2025
More changes are at hand. No more faculty-managed cover-ups for rowdy students. Disruptive demonstrations won’t be tolerated, and discipline now lies in the hands of the Office of the Provost. Not to mention, Columbia will cooperate with immigration authorities to ensure foreign students understand the consequences of violating American laws. Maybe an Ivy League education isn’t a free pass to chaos after all.
Columbia’s deceptive dance around the sanctity of women’s sports has also come to an end. They now pledge to observe Title IX, ensuring women compete only against women. Isn’t it refreshing to see truth and fairness re-enter academia? One has to wonder, though: What other Ivy League secrets are waiting to unravel once the feds come knocking?
