Staff Reports
Hot off the press, folks! Governor Ron DeSantis has found himself in a bit of a pickle with a leaked memo from a pro-DeSantis super PAC. Now, this memo, mind you, has some rather interesting suggestions for the upcoming Republican presidential nomination debate. But fear not, DeSantis is here to clear the air and denounce this memo faster than you can say “Make America Great Again.”
In an interview with Fox News, DeSantis boldly declared that the memo wasn’t his. Nope, not his cup of tea at all. Apparently, it’s just something they have lying around, like that dusty old treadmill in the corner that no one ever uses. Talk about distancing yourself from a hot potato!
So, what does this leaked memo advise? Well, it seems DeSantis is instructed to take a “sledgehammer” to his GOP competitor Vivek Ramaswamy. I mean, who needs a subtle approach when you can just swing a sledgehammer, right? And to really drive the point home, the memo suggests calling Ramaswamy “Fake Vivek” or “Vivek the Fake.” Ah, yes, nothing like a good old-fashioned name-calling campaign strategy.
But wait, there’s more! The memo also advises DeSantis to come to the defense of former President Trump. Because, let’s face it, if anyone attacks Trump, it’s like a personal attack on DeSantis himself. Talk about loyalty, folks!
Now, I must say, DeSantis hasn’t had the smoothest sailing lately. According to a recent poll, he’s trailing behind Trump with a measly ten percent. Ouch! And to make matters worse, his campaign has been plagued by overspending, staff layoffs, and a change of leadership. It’s like the Titanic hitting iceberg after iceberg, folks. But fear not, DeSantis is here to tell us all about how being attacked left, right, and center is a sign of strength. He’s like a modern-day superhero taking flak while soaring through the air. Impressive, isn’t it?
But don’t count DeSantis out just yet! He’s ready to come out swinging and throw punches at his opponents during the debate. He’s not going down without a fight. And to give him a boost, he’s even been seen hobnobbing with New Hampshire’s Republican Governor, Chris Sununu. Ah, the good old parade circuit. Truly the key to winning hearts and votes.
So, there you have it, folks. Governor DeSantis denounces the leaked memo, promises to defend himself against attacks, and is ready to shake things up at the debate. Will he rise from the ashes and close the gap with Trump? Only time will tell. But one thing’s for sure, DeSantis is determined to deliver his message, come hell or high water. Stay tuned for more excitement on the campaign trail!
