Staff Reports
The Democratic National Committee recently revealed its 90-page platform, a document that was apparently penned with all the enthusiasm of a kid stuffing homework under the bed—a last-minute effort for a President Biden whose exit from the race wasn’t exactly a well-kept secret. Despite Biden’s hasty withdrawal, the DNC is pushing forward as if they’re still drinking the “Hope and Change” Kool-Aid, promoting a future steeped in wishful thinking rather than pragmatic governance.
The platform was officially passed by the Platform Committee several weeks back, right before Biden decided to play musical chairs with the Democratic nomination. The DNC, in a valiant attempt to rally their troops, claims this so-called platform highlights the “historic work” of their current leadership. A “vision for a progressive agenda” is touted, which in most circles would be interpreted as code for a wholesale takeover of your freedoms, an expansion of government control, and the relentless pursuit of a Green New Deal that even a tree-hugging panda would find excessive.
Democrats didn't even bother to update their platform to remove the DOZEN mentions of a Biden "second term."
Zero daylight between Biden and Kamala! pic.twitter.com/mughHPOZ94
— Trump War Room (@TrumpWarRoom) August 19, 2024
Economic worries are central to this elaborate plan with lofty promises like lowering costs for families, something that’s becoming more of a punchline than actual policy under Democrat rule. With the current inflation levels, it seems the only thing getting lower is the purchasing power of the American families they claim to champion. The ground zero for their supposed economic vision? A nostalgic kitchen table in Scranton, because apparently, every American’s financial woes are best evaluated over a plate of lukewarm meatloaf.
Of course, the platform has its priorities straight on the social justice front too. It includes a clear pledge to restore Roe v. Wade—because nothing says “freedom” like appealing to a group that insists on prioritizing the right to terminate life while simultaneously advocating for a world free from “gun violence.” The irony may be lost on them, but looking at this document, one may as well brace for a major overhaul of American values that would make even the most dedicated liberal’s head spin.
In a truly peculiar twist of fate, the platform reflects a romanticized vision where a “second term” for Biden is mentioned more often than good coffee on a Monday morning. With an election looming, it seems the strategy is less about convincing the American public and more about chanting “Biden 2020, Part Deux” louder and louder in hopes that it somehow transforms into reality. The DNC committee will be voting soon on this bridesmaid’s dress of a document, but one has to wonder—can they sew up this party without some serious alterations?
