Staff Reports
FBI Director Christopher Wray brought forth some eyebrow-raising revelations during his recent congressional testimony regarding the attempted assassination of Donald Trump. In what seemed like a mix of investigative work and a bad episode of a crime procedural, Wray fed Congress a stream of details that left many shaking their heads in disbelief. Apparently, the FBI is still scratching its head over the identity of the would-be assassin, but one thing is certain: the plot thickens like a bowl of cold gravy.
One of the more shocking details that Wray dropped was that the weapon in question sported a “collapsible stock,” whatever that means in the grand scheme of things. He described the collapsible feature as “significant” yet seemed to imply that its existence made it hard for innocent bystanders at Trump’s rally to see what was going on as if the crowd should have pulled out their binoculars from the get-go. It’s as if Wray believed the attending masses couldn’t spot someone carrying a gun because it wasn’t decked out with a neon sign reading “I’m a would-be assassin.” It’s beyond puzzling that the FBI, tasked with keeping America safe, is only now figuring out the mechanics of a weapon that any gun enthusiast could explain in their sleep.
FBI Director Wray reveals where he was when former President Trump had been shot and his initial reaction to the news:
"I was about to have dinner with family, and I was horrified. And angry.” pic.twitter.com/eUyEFjYry9
— Townhall.com (@townhallcom) July 24, 2024
Wray also clued Congress in on some intriguing background research tied to the shooter, a character dubbed Crooks. It turns out that on the very day Crooks registered for the Butler rally, he was busy Googling how far Oswald was from Kennedy when he pulled the trigger. Wray waxed lyrical about how this tidbit reveals the shooter’s “state of mind.” One wonders what the FBI needed: a neon billboard leading to Crooks’ brain? Instead of patting themselves on the back for this revelation, it would have been more refreshing if they had acted on these red flags before the attempt transpired.
The testimony took an even more bizarre turn when Wray recounted how a “bloody receipt” for a five-foot ladder was found in Crooks’ pocket. You can’t make this stuff up. A bloody receipt indicates a ladder might have played a role in Crooks getting to his rooftop perch. But, in a plot twist worthy of any TV drama, Wray insisted the FBI did not find said ladder—surprise! Instead, the agency believes Crooks must’ve climbed with some “mechanical equipment” and “piping.” Who doesn’t use a bit of vertical piping as their go-to route for an assassination attempt? Forget the ladder; perhaps Crooks should have called in a crane.
As Wray wrapped up his testimony, the notion that the FBI had its work cut out for them became painfully clear. With all the investigative prowess of a toddler searching for their lost toy, the details provided left many wondering how the nation’s top law enforcement agency is handling serious threats. Was the FBI simply too busy chasing after political opponents or investigating parents at school board meetings to stay on top of a would-be assassin? The inefficiencies on display in this sordid saga didn’t just misfire; they might as well have set off a three-alarm fire.
In what can only be described as an FBI episode of “It’s All Gone Wrong,” Wray’s testimony left viewers questioning whether they should be more worried about the FBI’s capabilities or the potential for more unhinged lunacy. Either way, the continuing saga of the attempted assassination of a former president serves as another stark reminder: sometimes, government agencies look more like comedy clubs than guardians of national security.
