Staff Reports
Breaking news, folks! The sneaky federal government has been caught red-handed playing big brother with your hard-earned cash! Brace yourselves for this wild tale of government overreach.
It turns out that federal law enforcement has been running a secret “portal” where they tip-toed through your financial transactions, all in the name of hunting down those scary “domestic violent extremists.” And guess what? To them, being a fan of “MAGA” or “Trump” or simply buying a religious book is enough to raise their suspicions! Talk about ridiculous!
— Deuces (@wickedmel222) March 8, 2024
According to a spicy House committee report, these feds weren’t just stopping at regular monitoring – nope, they were treating everyday transactions like criminal evidence, all while giving the stink-eye to anyone holding conservative views. It’s like they think being conservative is a crime or something!
And get this, they were cozying up to over 650 companies through this Domestic Security Alliance Council thing, spreading their anti-conservative agenda like it was Christmas candy. They even had the nerve to warn financial institutions about folks who don’t like gun control, open borders, COVID-19 restrictions, or… gasp… the “deep state.” How dare they!
But wait, there’s more! The report spills the beans on how the feds were sliding into Bank of America’s DMs with requests to spill the beans on anyone who dared to buy a gun or book a getaway around January 6. It’s like they were fishing for trouble where there wasn’t any! And let’s not forget the zoom parties they threw with big banks like Wells Fargo and JPMorgan Chase, just to poke around in their customers’ business. Talk about creepy!
And to top it all off, the Treasury Department was throwing around wizardry with Merchant Category Codes to flag purchases at places like Bass Pro Shop or Dick’s Sporting Goods. Just because someone wants to get some fishing gear doesn’t mean they’re up to no good, right?
House Judiciary Committee Chair Jim Jordan hit the nail on the head when he said, “Big government shouldn’t be working with big banks to target Americans for behavior that is legal and constitutional.” Amen, Mr. Jordan!
So there you have it, folks. The feds were out there playing detective on your dime, without a warrant, without notification, and without a care in the world. It’s a classic case of government gone wild! Keep your wallets close and your MAGA hats closer, because who knows what they’ll come up with next!
