Staff Reports
Hunter Biden’s desperate squirming to dodge accountability has hit yet another brick wall. After sheepishly admitting one of his myriad excuses was utterly bogus, his legal team finally abandoned their laughable call for a new trial on the gun charges that keep biting him like a Junkyard dog. The man who Joe once hailed as the brightest bulb in the family chandelier now faces the music over his 2018 handgun application fibs.
Convicted of three felonies last month, courtesy of his creative writing on a federal gun application, Hunter claimed he wasn’t addicted to drugs—an assertion just as believable as California outlawing taxes. Yet, demonstrating their knack for fiction, Hunter’s attorneys argued that Judge Maryellen Noreika lacked the God-given authority to conduct the trial. This claim apparently required a trip through Wonderland to justify.
Hunter Biden – who Joe says is the smartest guy he knows and who is Joe's new gatekeeper at the White House – did this:
"Hunter Biden withdraws bid for new trial in gun case after feds blast him for ‘failure to read’ orders"https://t.co/wHKKf8E9e4— Israel & USA United (@IsraelandUSA) July 9, 2024
CNN, always keen to protect the fragile image of the favored son, held out hope by announcing that the Biden brigade isn’t done appealing. The reality, however, is far less kind. Prosecutors have shredded their claims like a document in Hillary’s office, demonstrating that appellate court decisions did indeed grant Judge Noreika the green light to proceed. Their filings harshly noted that Hunter’s supposed “appeals” claims were rooted in a fundamental misunderstanding—or maybe just a failure to read altogether.
The comedy of errors continued with a series of filings that had the absurdity of a sitcom episode. It culminated in Hunter’s legal team finally waving the white flag and dropping their quest for a new trial. Still, like a bad spin-off, no one asked for, Hunter’s legal soap opera isn’t over. His lawyers have cooked up an argument involving a Supreme Court ban on guns for those under domestic violence restraining orders, trying to spin this irrelevant detail into some magical Get Out of Jail Free card.
Never one to retreat quietly, Hunter’s attorneys also asserted that since he never menaced anyone with his concealed firearm, he should essentially get a free pass on his felonies. This logic seems about as solid as saying a drunk driver shouldn’t be arrested because they didn’t crash—yet.
The American public isn't fooled as Hunter gears up for a September showdown over tax charges. Last month, an AP/NORC poll found that 57 percent of respondents believe the First Son should find himself behind bars. The only people hoodwinked by these antics appear to be the ones writing his checks.
While his sentencing date remains unplanned, one thing is clear: Hunter Biden’s legal escapades are becoming the epitome of desperate maneuvers. This latest debacle is yet another chapter in the never-ending saga of the Biden family’s entitlement and evasion of consequences. Until justice is truly served, the rest of America will watch this circus, shaking their heads in disbelief.
