Staff Reports
The nine-count tax fraud indictment against the president’s son, Hunter Biden, has unveiled a sordid tale of debauchery and deceit. The indictment, released on December 7th, outlines how Hunter spent a whopping $1.4 million on drugs, escorts, luxury hotels, and other extravagant personal items, while conveniently forgetting to pay his taxes. But what’s got conservative tongues wagging is the omission of charges related to his cushy million-dollar salary at Burisma, where Hunter was allegedly brought on board to help the company dodge a corruption probe with some VIP assistance from his dad, then-Vice President Joe Biden.
Hunter #Biden tax evasion indictment shields president from Burisma scrutiny https://t.co/fSwcXjR8Hi
— Mike Brandt (@brandt_mike) December 12, 2023
The indictment, which could land Hunter in the slammer for up to 17 years, conveniently overlooks the period of tax evasion during Hunter’s stint at Burisma Holdings. According to witnesses, Hunter was shamelessly pocketing fat stacks of cash from Burisma while allegedly using his father’s influence to grease the wheels. But hold on to your MAGA hats, folks, because that’s not all! The indictment also conveniently leaves out any charges related to Hunter’s failure to register as a foreign lobbyist, despite his suspicious efforts to peddle the “Biden brand” to foreign business partners.
Now, here’s where it gets spicy. The Ways and Means Committee has published juicy deets from a duo of IRS whistleblowers, suggesting that the big man himself, Joe Biden, may have been pulling some strings in his son’s shady business dealings. The whistleblowers uncovered a trove of 54 emails between Joe Biden and Eric Schwerin, who just so happens to be one of Hunter’s closest business cronies and the Biden family money man. There’s even suspicions that ol’ Joe used sneaky email aliases to cover his tracks and keep his backroom dealings under wraps.
But wait, there’s more dirt to dish! It turns out that Hunter’s other business associates were cozying up to Joe as well. His ex-business partner, Devon Archer, waltzed into the White House for a powwow with the VP just days before Hunter scooped up a sweet $112,758 from Burisma. Coincidence? We think not! And to top it all off, after Joe’s little jaunt to Ukraine, where he was busy hobnobbing with the bigwigs, Hunter snagged himself a prime spot on Burisma’s board, raking in a cool mil each year. And get this – he “forgot” to mention this little windfall on his tax forms!
Now, the real kicker is that Hunter dodged the bullet on the unpaid taxes from his Burisma jackpot because the statute of limitations magically expired, thanks to some fancy footwork by special counsel David Weiss. Republicans are crying foul and pointing fingers at the Justice Department, accusing them of giving ol’ Joe a free pass and protecting him from any scrutiny. They’re even suggesting that the timing of the indictment was strategically orchestrated to shield Joe and keep the spotlight away from his shady shenanigans.
As if this saga couldn’t get any more scandalous, it turns out that Hunter and the Burisma bigwigs were allegedly leaning on Joe to pull some strings and squash a pesky corruption investigation in Ukraine. And wouldn’t you know it, Joe swooped in like a knight in shining armor and flexed some political muscle to get the prosecutor axed, all while his son was raking in the dough from Burisma. Talk about family values, am I right, folks?
Now, House investigators are chomping at the bit to grill Hunter about his cozy connections and his daddy’s involvement in his sketchy business deals. But Hunter’s lawyer is huffing and puffing, crying foul and accusing the GOP of turning Hunter’s “legitimate business dealings” and his struggle with addiction into a circus sideshow to bring down good ol’ Joe. But wait – the plot thickens! Hunter’s got a deposition scheduled with the House investigators, but who knows if he’s going to show up? He might just pull a disappearing act and plead the Fifth to avoid incriminating himself.
Chairmen Comer and Jordan are barking up a storm, vowing not to let Hunter off the hook so easily. They’re brandishing the big, bad contempt of Congress card and daring Hunter to try and play hooky. It’s a showdown for the ages, and conservative tongues are wagging as they eagerly await the next act in this hot political soap opera. Grab your popcorn, folks – it’s gonna be a wild ride!
