Staff Reports
The Democratic National Convention is wrapping up, and it promises to be a riot—just not the kind that typically gets you a guest spot on CNN. Vice President Kamala Harris is on deck to give her grand acceptance speech, which campaign officials assure everyone will be a mix of her personal tale, a friendly jab at former President Donald Trump, and an all-American warm hug of patriotism. While one can admire the effort, it’s hard not to wonder if Harris has the charisma of a wet sock.
Outside the convention, the mood is decidedly less celebratory. Protesters are gearing up for yet another round of demonstrations, vying for attention like children fighting over the last slice of pizza. The protests this week have escalated from mere shouting matches to surprisingly bold breaches of DNC security. And let’s not forget the uncommitted DNC delegates staging a sit-in, quite the drama when the committee refused to let a Palestinian speaker share the stage. Nothing says unity quite like a spat over who gets to hold a microphone.
What is @ChrisCuomo hoping to see from the speeches tonight at the DNC? 🗣️ “𝗔𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗶𝘁𝘆, 𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲, 𝘀𝗲𝗲 𝗶𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗽𝘂𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘀.” 👀#KOADNC | @GoldenSpikeDnvr 🏠🔨 pic.twitter.com/xMqzMIWYJN
— KOA 850 AM & 94.1 FM (@KOAColorado) August 21, 2024
Amid all this chaos, the convention’s schedule looks like a bureaucrat’s buffet, featuring events that sound more like meetings for a confused social club rather than a serious political gathering. Delegation breakfasts dotted around town, caucus meetings ranging from the Women’s Caucus to the Youth Council, and even a Poverty Council meeting—because clearly, poverty is not a serious enough issue without a dedicated Council. As attendees take part in these delightful gatherings, one can’t help but notice a sharp decline in attendance due to the alluring late-night “afterparties.” Who could resist free drinks and mingling over political discourse?
The day winds on with other notable happenings, such as the March on the DNC and a lively “Pod Save America” fest at the Salt Shed. There are separation groups for every niche imaginable: LGBTQ, labor unions, small businesses, and disability advocates, all crammed into one convention hall as if to demonstrate the unifying power of division. Meanwhile, the political heavyweights are rallying the faithful and perhaps still learning how to make the sell for their agenda—something that seems to require more enthusiasm than actual substance.
As the night draws near, the main event features none other than Vice President Harris delivering her speech at the United Center. But will it inspire or send attendees scrambling for a post-gavel pizza reception? With a lineup that involves social receptions and happy hours more than it does serious political discussion, one wonders if the DNC is hosting a political convention or a festival of identities. Expect the fireworks to be symbolic—perhaps in the metaphorical sense, since pushing out actual policies seems to have been lost in translation along the way.
