Staff Reports
In a twist that could only come straight from a Russian playbook, the Kremlin has decided to crank out another American release, this time focusing on a guy named Kalob Wayne Byers. The 28-year-old was detained at Moscow’s Vnukovo airport after returning from Istanbul, presumably not ready to join the ranks of ideal vodka enthusiasts. Customs officials were not amused when they discovered some cannabis-laced treats in his luggage, which they deemed problematic. Apparently, Russian border agents are more passionate about their cannabis laws than about keeping the peace with stray Americans.
Just a week after the release of another unfortunate soul, Marc Fogel, Byers became a free man—though he was facing a decade-long prison sentence for a “significant amount” of gummies that could easily pass for something you’d pick up in a California dispensary. Rumor has it, Byers just wanted to make sure he wasn’t missing out on his epilepsy medication, showing once again that even in moments of suspense, the right priorities remain. After all, nothing says true love like bringing a stash of cannabis-infused candy to seal the deal with your fiancée.
🚨 Russia has freed another American 🚨
Kalob Byers, detained in Moscow for bringing cannabinoid gummies into the country, is now at the US Embassy awaiting a flight home. Arrested just a week ago, this may be the fastest release of a US citizen in Russian history. pic.twitter.com/lOvuzTuwvp
— Brian McDonald (@27khv) February 16, 2025
But the drama didn’t end there. Byers’ release comes amidst the backdrop of Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov flaunting their benevolent intention of improving U.S.-Russian relations—touted as though he was announcing the next bestselling cookbook rather than discussing international negotiations. Perhaps Putin has recognized that keeping American tourists happy is a crucial part of his charm offensive. Who knew that the way to smooth over international tensions was through the charm of gummies?
The clock is ticking on Byers’ return to the United States, with the U.S. embassy in Moscow stepping in to orchestrate the homecoming. Yet there are lingering questions about his fiancée, Naida Mambetova, whose fate remains obscured in the fog of Russian justice. One can’t help but wonder if she’s playing a secret game of poker, or perhaps sipping on some questionable local brew while waiting for her own release.
As if the universe were playing its own wry joke, this series of events also follows the saga of Marc Fogel, who spent three years in a Russian jail for carrying half an ounce of medical marijuana. Apparently, he came back singing praises for the previous administration, naming Donald Trump and his State Department as the heroes of his release. It begs the question: Is Russia trying to score points in the U.S. by giving Americans a free pass every now and then, or is it just a bizarre PR stunt to attract more tourists? Either way, one thing is clear: it’s a wild game to watch unfold.
