Staff Reports
Megyn Kelly has taken quite a spin in the grand game of political musical chairs. Once a fierce critic of Donald Trump, she’s now throwing down the gauntlet as his biggest cheerleader, the closing argument for his campaign. The plot twist is juicier than a soap opera cliffhanger! Imagine being the one who once coined the phrase “Donald only Ros o Donald,” now stepping back into the spotlight to give a rousing send-off to a man she once criticized relentlessly. Who knew political loyalty had a fluidity rivaling a shapeshifting artist?
As if that weren’t enough, let’s add some sparkly celebrity endorsements into the mix. The star-studded cast of Hollywood heavyweights, from George Clooney to Taylor Swift, aimed to swing voters towards Kamala Harris. And what did these titans of Tinseltown achieve? Not much, apparently! In a spectacular display of irony, they crashed and burned, paving the way for Trump to stomp through swing states and collect votes like stickers at a kid’s birthday party. Who knew that the combined political prowess of these A-listers would lead to a landslide win for the orange man? It’s a shocking twist reminiscent of a bad reality show.
Megyn didn’t hold back, throwing her verbal confetti over the fallen celebrity endorsements. She mused that nobody cares about what Oprah or JLo think about immigration or the economy. What matters is their skincare secrets! It’s clear that when American voters sip their morning coffee, they aren’t listening to the latest political revelations from celebrities whose biggest credibility claim is dating history and perfecting their glowy skin. Let’s be honest; when JLo starts singing about politics, it’s time to stuff it, as Megyn would say.
Then there’s Julia Roberts, the quintessential leftist voice and self-proclaimed husband-stealer. She stepped into the proverbial quicksand with her recent political stances. It’s like she forgot to check the scoreboard before playing the game! She criticizes Republicans while simultaneously embodying the chaos she claims to detest. Perhaps she should take a breather from the podium and focus on her own personal dramas. After all, when wrestling with your morality, it’s best to steer clear of giving advice on fidelity and societal values.
As the left’s favorites collectively struggled to influence the electorate, George Clooney’s dramatic exit from the political arena was no surprise. He realized endorsing Joe Biden while holding fundraisers was like trying to get people to eat kale at a barbecue. Timing is everything in politics, and when it comes to their collective performances, it’s apparent these celebrities struck out before they even reached the plate. The Lincoln Project has also been tossed into the pit of despair—a gathering of bottom feeders that claimed insight into American voters yet couldn’t predict the outcome of a game of rock-paper-scissors. They simply overestimated the electorate’s ability to be, well, decent.
One thing remains clear in this wild circus of endorsements gone awry: voters are tired of celebrity opinions being shoved down their throats. This election cycle is like a reality show, and unfortunately for the high-profile endorsers, their time is up. So here’s to Megyn Kelly, the critic turned cheerleader, and to all the celebrities who learned the hard way that in politics, influence is not eternal. Sometimes, it’s best to stick to what you know—like skincare routines and celebrity gossip. As we move forward, perhaps a humble pie is on the menu this Thanksgiving, right next to the turkeys.
