Staff Reports
The recent prisoner swap between the United States and Russia has been lauded for its historical significance, but not everyone is celebrating. While Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich and former Marine Paul Whelan are basking in their newfound freedom, several Americans remain in the Russian gulag—some of whom have questionable stories that could make a strong case for an episode of “What Were They Thinking?”
First on the list is Marc Fogel, an American teacher who turned a simple trip to Russia into a cautionary tale of bad decisions. Fogel decided to smuggle a minuscule amount of medical marijuana into the country, likely unaware that what flies under the radar in Pennsylvania doesn’t land well in Moscow. A grassroots movement is fervently trying to convince the U.S. government to classify him as “wrongfully detained.” Meanwhile, Pennsylvania lawmakers are valiantly attempting to intercede on his behalf, calling for his inclusion in the prisoner swap. One can’t help but wonder if they were on the same education committee that approved “dare to dream” seminars back home.
Who are the Americans still being held in Russian prisons? – https://t.co/2Rx27CcvBb
— darealprisonart (@darealprisonart) August 1, 2024
Then there’s Gordon Black, a U.S. Army Staff Sergeant who somehow managed to emerge as the poster boy for bad life choices. Instead of maintaining his military discipline, Black flighted AWOL and flew to Vladivostok to visit his Russian girlfriend. His patrol through the relationship jungle resulted in a dispute that ended with him being charged with theft and some potentially dubious other allegations. Of course, Black’s pay was promptly cut off—the military doesn’t appreciate AWOL antics, even if it makes for a racy narrative.
Another character in this melodrama is Robert Woodland, a dual U.S.-Russia citizen arrested for drug trafficking—not exactly the best way to reunite with one’s homeland. He claimed to be searching for his mother but ended up with a prison sentence of over 12 years. Let’s hope all that time spent in a maximum-security colony comes with a solid gym regimen.
Ksenia Khavana, a Russian-American ballerina, adds another layer of complexity. Arrested for donating a meager $51.80 to a Ukrainian charity, she’s now labeled a traitor. Khavana asserted she was merely supporting humanitarian efforts, but in the eyes of the Kremlin, even altruism can apparently lead to severe consequences. This raises the question of whether she was improvising her way through family obligations or if her benevolent donation was truly a covert operation.
Lastly, who could overlook the bizarre case of David Barnes, accused of heinous acts against his own children. Even though Texas investigators previously dismissed the allegations against him, following a convoluted legal path in Russia resulted in a sentence of 21 years. This one even rattled his lawyer, who was reportedly blindsided by the severity of the ruling. It goes to show that whether it’s in the U.S. or overseas, navigating family law doesn’t come with a comprehensive instruction manual.
While Fogel, Black, Woodland, Khavana, Barnes, and a few others rot in Russian prisons, the U.S. government must reevaluate its strategies on what – or whom – is worth fetching back home. Meanwhile, the good old tradition of trading high-profile criminals for lesser-known pawns appears to need a serious upgrade. Maybe next time, the administration should draw up a list beforehand—put a little thought into which Americans are worth the trip and which stories complicate their narrative. After all, getting one’s citizens out of foreign jails shouldn’t feel like a game of musical chairs with the stakes set on a global scale.
