Staff Reports
In the early hours of July 21, while savoring the remnants of slumber in Arusha, Tanzania, Roger L. Simon was jolted awake by a startling revelation—Joe Biden had not only withdrawn but had handed the reins over to Kamala Harris. For those keeping score, this twist was about as shocking as discovering that the Sun rises in the east. Yet, the realization didn’t stop Simon from embarking on an adventure, one that could easily be viewed as a necessary escape from the circus that American politics has become under the Democrats.
Many may recall that Simon’s journey was marred by the chaos of a CloudStrike utter failure that grounded all flights, leaving travelers stranded and banks spinning their wheels in confusion. While Simon contemplated the decision to abandon a country muddled in confusion and unrest, he and his wife Sheryl were determined not to let the politicians’ mess spoil their planned safari for their thirtieth anniversary. After a night of turbulence—not just the one in the skies—they finally launched themselves into the African wilderness. This was much needed; who wouldn’t want to swap the noise of political blunders for the serene beauty of nature?
The Tanzanian landscape was a refreshing change from the political intrigues back home. Simon contemplatively traveled over Africa’s vast territories, pondering everything from the enduring crises humanity has faced through history to the virtues of a simpler existence amid the gorillas and giraffes. He recalled the literary impressions of the great Ernest Hemingway, who wasted no time sulking over political issues but rather engaged directly with life. In stark contrast, Simon noted that much of contemporary society seems more interested in stirring the pot than enjoying its bounty.
While traversing Tanzania, Simon encountered a motley crew of fellow adventurers, some of whom fit the stereotype of the insufferable leftist type that fills universities—plugging their political rhetoric at the same time they search for `self-actualization` in the wild. They, of course, couldn’t comprehend the inherent value in the natural order of life, a natural order that cherishes family bonds and reproduction. There was a refreshing blend of heretical thought woven into Simon’s observations as he discussed the state of raising children with locals who fundamentally saw procreation as a no-brainer.
Eventually, Simon took his explorations to Mahale National Park, where the designated goal was to witness chimpanzees in their natural habitat. This sought-after glimpse of our closest relatives offered a stark reminder of the simplicities of life: family, survival, and instinct. The Maasai guides, well-adjusted and deeply knowledgeable, led the group through the steep trails while singing the praises of a lifestyle that values community and connection to the land—something many in the West seem to have forgotten amid their scrolls of social media and cable news hysteria.
Sharing life lessons with Tanzanians, who laughed off foreign predicaments and considered their lives rich and meaningful despite political upheaval, often brought Simon back to the harsh realities of American politics. Back home, discussions of family values and the merits of parenthood are lost amid the incessant clamor of the left. Their reasoning struck Simon as misplaced; after all, where is the joy of relating to one another in meaningful ways when one can retreat to the comforts of digital distractions?
Even as Simon connected more deeply with nature, he found himself re-engaging with the political critiques back home, including the controversy surrounding JD Vance’s musings on childless living. While the media scurried to twist his comments into fodder for their political theater, a greater conversation loomed above—what does it truly mean to be human amidst the chaos? Perhaps while the Left continues to fracture family structures and redefine values, nature stands firm in its truth, teaching that life’s essence goes beyond boardrooms and town halls, extending instead to the familial bonds that define us.
As Simon prepared to return to his urban life, a quiet optimism lingered. Africa, with all its complexities, offered hope for a renewed appreciation of simplicity, community, and values—a lesson he carried back akin to an unexpected treasure. Strapped in, perhaps ready for more than just a safari adventure, but a renewed attempt to awaken a country as mired in confusion as it is in opportunity. The next chapter of American life might just need a good old-fashioned dose of nature’s wisdom to get things back on track.
