Staff Reports
Agriculture Secretary Brooke Rollins has thrown down the gauntlet, accusing the mainstream media of willfully ignoring explosive egg prices during Joe Biden’s reign while conveniently making a fuss once President Trump entered the White House. While one might expect news organizations to keep their finger on the pulse of inflation, it seems they had better things to report on—like the color of the Biden administration’s ties.
According to Rollins, under the Biden administration, egg prices have skyrocketed by a staggering 237 percent. Yet, in the summer of last year, while families were shelling out extra dollars at the grocery store, the press was quiet as a church mouse. It was only after Trump took the reins that everyone suddenly became an expert on poultry pricing. Rollins pointed out that the blatant media double standard is painfully obvious and suggests that the leftist narrative machinery cranked up the volume only when it suited their agenda.
In a recent Cabinet meeting, Rollins reported that the USDA has rolled out a five-point plan aimed explicitly at tackling these soaring egg prices, linked to troublesome avian flu outbreaks. Just like that, the wholesale prices have crashed by 53 percent! While grocery prices are still a concern for families, at least there’s hope that some relief may be on the horizon—assuming the media hasn’t already moved on to reporting on feather-color controversies instead.
When the Media Suddenly Started Caring About High Egg Prices 😅😂https://t.co/pIu1oEdBni
— Papa Hemingway (@PopHemingway) March 25, 2025
In addition to addressing egg prices, Rollins took the opportunity to announce the cancellation of a plethora of wasteful contracts. These contracts, which typically sound like they were ripped straight from a parody of modern education, were immediately flagged as prime examples of government bloating. One such contract was meant to educate “transgender and queer farmers” about concepts like food justice and equality. Rollins bluntly stated her confusion over what that even means, mirroring the sentiments of practically every taxpayer wondering why their dollars were being used in such a baffling manner.
Adding a cherry on top of the financial mismanagement sundae, Rollins revealed another $600,000 was snatched from a Louisiana contract researching the menstrual cycles of transgender men. While taxpayers are footing the bill, the irony isn’t lost on anyone when these projects divert funds away from practical agricultural concerns. Rollins affirmed there’s simply no justification for using hard-earned taxpayer dollars on programs that many see as “nonsensical,” showcasing a government more focused on pandering than producing.
The ongoing saga of egg prices and canceled contracts is a stark reminder that not all systems of government run smoothly. While families are still grappling with high grocery bills, Rollins’s focused strategies offer a flicker of hope. The moral of this story remains clear: when the priorities of Washington shift toward virtuous virtue-signaling instead of actual service, taxpayers will always be left with an egg on their faces—except this time, it might be a very expensive one.
