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You’ve got to love the way the coastal comedy class swoops in to mock a sleepy little raccoon while pretending to lecture the rest of America from their Manhattan moral high ground. Saturday Night Live turned a bizarre, harmless animal story into yet another chance to lampoon everyday life and score woke points, and Newsline’s own John Jordan — a former naval intelligence officer — didn’t stand for it.
The real story here began in Ashland, Virginia, when a raccoon somehow busted into an ABC liquor store, shatteringly ransacked the lower shelves and was later found passed out in the bathroom — a strange, harmless bit of local chaos that briefly united people in laughter and charity. Animal control officers handled the situation, the creature was treated and released, and the community turned what could have been a freak headline into a quirky human interest moment.
Instead of leaving it at that, SNL staged a Weekend Update skit that turned the critter into a caricature of drunken debauchery, trading in crude jokes and cheap shots for applause from the usual elite audience. Comedians played the raccoon for laughs, leaning into gross-out lines that reveal more about Hollywood’s contempt for ordinary folks than anything else — and the mainstream media ate it up.
John Jordan — who is no stranger to tough talk and conservative common sense — pushed back on that tired, elitist impulse on Newsline, defending common-sense attitudes and reminding viewers that not every oddball incident needs to be turned into cultural commentary. His presence on Newsline is a reminder that seasoned Americans with service backgrounds still show up to defend simple decency against the coastal mockery machine.
Let’s be clear: this isn’t about raccoon rights versus human humor. It’s about priorities. While our country faces real challenges — open borders, rising crime in Democrat-run cities, and a media-industrial complex obsessed with scoring viral laughs — the comfortable elites scrub their hands with satire and call it journalism. Hardworking Americans see the trivialization for what it is: a diversion from the failures that actually matter.
If nothing else, the whole episode should make patriotic citizens double down on common-sense values and local responsibility. Laugh at the occasional raccoon caper by all means, but don’t hand censorship of decency and respect to the coastal snobs who would rather mock small-town America than face the big issues that threaten our liberties and livelihoods.
