Staff Reports
In a bizarre twist that seems straight out of a bad sitcom, a woman from San Antonio, Texas, named Christina Montoya, was arrested in Washington, D.C., for allegedly threatening former President Donald Trump. This news comes hot on the heels of an assassination attempt during one of Trump’s rallies back in July. Apparently, not all heroes wear capes—some wear a badge and make questionable life choices.
The Metropolitan Police Department got wind of Montoya’s shenanigans when she decided to play a high-stakes game of “See What Happens.” They discovered her less-than-legal firearm and a magazine while she was less than a mile from Capitol Hill. It’s almost as if she didn’t realize D.C. has some of the strictest gun regulations. But, hey—at least she wasn’t just wandering around with a bag of potatoes, right? Who knows what she was planning, but Trump was conveniently in the Hamptons at the time, presumably trying to avoid any run-ins with disgruntled Texan women brandishing weapons.
Metro DC did a better job than the Secret Service.
Police: Texan Accused of Threatening Trump Arrested Near White House https://t.co/w0J9r7Rx57 via @BreitbartNews
— RedHorseCav (@Rick5A1) August 4, 2024
The details regarding the specific threats that Montoya allegedly made remain as clear as mud. With an “offense start date” noted as July 20, 2024, it’s almost as if law enforcement was marking time instead of effectively tracking threats. However, Montoya’s timeline might raise questions about whether time travel is involved. Did she think she could pull a Marty McFly and threaten a former president while still being in the same decade?
After a recent assassination attempt on Trump by a man named Thomas Matthew Crooks, who also had a flair for tragic timing, the former president expressed gratitude to God for his survival. Trump compared his heroic self-preservation to a miraculous intervention while rallying the troops in Atlanta, which may suggest that he’s just a tad more than casually religious. It’s almost as if danger makes him extra pious; who wouldn’t thank the heavens after dodging bullets?
The Crooks incident was notable, not just for the attempted murder of a former president but also for the fact that he was shot by competent Secret Service agents who evidently had more training than the average Starbucks barista. While Montoya may have thought she was making a name for herself, the attempt was trivial compared to Crooks’ failed excursion into political extermination that left one bystander dead and two others gravely injured. Apparently, some people don’t get the memo on appropriately expressing political disagreement.
Montoya is now facing multiple charges, including possessing an unregistered firearm, carrying a pistol without a license, and making threats against a former president. It’s hard to say who was less prepared for this situation: Montoya, who thought she could threaten Trump, or the police, who might not have anticipated more nutty threats coming their way. They should expect chaos in the next election cycle because, apparently, people think it’s easier to shoot the messenger than debate issues.
