Staff Reports
In today’s edition of Tales of the Absurd, the far-left organization ProgressNow has decided to take on the impossible task of making President Joe Biden “cool” online. They are willing to spend a whopping $70 million to achieve this goal. Now, I don’t know about you, but that seems like a few dozen bridges too far. But hey, the folks over at ProgressNow aren’t deterred by the prospect of wasting so much money.
According to the organization, their plan is to create an “echo chamber” on the left to compete with the one they claim already exists on the right. Because we all know how convincing echo chambers are to uncommitted voters. It’s like they think We the People can’t form our own opinions or something. But hey, who needs reality when you can just pump out some flashy social media graphics and hope for the best?
Tales of the Absurd:
– Progressive Group Takes on Hopeless Task – Making Joe Biden 'Cool' https://t.co/wPzA4XRu3L— Diane Lange (@DclareDiane) September 25, 2023
Speaking of flashy graphics, ProgressNow has already started message-testing their efforts. And get this, they believe that using a bright pink image that depicts a text message conversation will somehow make people think Biden is doing a good job with the economy. I kid you not. A bright pink image is going to solve all of Biden’s problems. Can you smell the desperation?
But wait, it gets even better. ProgressNow plans to use an app called Megaphone to spread their message. They’ve even used astrology to target their audience. Yes, you read that right. They made a digital ad that looked like a horoscope to boost Michigan Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson. Because apparently, people who think astrology is a real science are the same people who think Biden has sound economic policies. Talk about a stretch.
So overall, good luck to ProgressNow in their quest to make Joe Biden “cool.” I have a feeling they’re going to need it. As for me, I’ll be over here, rolling my eyes and waiting for some real leadership to emerge.
