Staff Reports
A new directive from President Trump is shaking up the federal workforce like a piñata at a birthday party. In a move aimed at boosting accountability, all federal employees must now submit a written list of their weekly accomplishments. For those less inclined to put pen to paper or, in this case, fingers to keyboard, noncompliance could mean a one-way trip to the unemployment line. Who knew compliance could come with such drastic consequences?
Elon Musk, the glitzy tech mogul and now head honcho of the federal oversight effort, took to social media to announce the plan, likely while sipping on artisanal coffee and lounging in front of his Tesla factory. He made it clear that every federal bureaucrat should expect an email asking them to justify their productivity from the last week. The stakes are high: if you fail to respond, it will be taken as a sign that you’re ready to resign. Talk about a motivator to hit those deadlines!
🚨🇺🇸ELON ASKED FEDERAL WORKERS TO PROVE THEY WORK—THEY’RE MELTING DOWN
DOGE is holding bureaucrats accountable with the simplest request:
-Write down 5 things you did this week
-Keep it briefThat’s it. And they’re STILL complaining.
These are the same people who’ve been… pic.twitter.com/UGEzvEj1cJ
— USA Government 🇺🇸 News (@USAGovernmentN) February 23, 2025
The U.S. Office of Personnel Management confirmed that this new requirement is part of Trump’s grander vision of a leaner, meaner federal workforce. Employees are required to submit their summaries by the end of the day Monday and make sure their managers are CC’d. Heaven forbid someone forgets to loop in the higher-ups; that could lead to some swift moves in career progression—downward!
Of course, it wasn’t long before the naysayers chimed in. The American Federation of Government Employees, a labor union known more for its whining than actual productivity, expressed outrage, claiming it’s “cruel and disrespectful” for workers to justify their jobs to a billionaire like Musk. Their incredulity is palpable as they argue Musk hasn’t done a single hour of “honest public service.” Given that many might define “honest public service” as attending endless meetings while moving papers from one side of the desk to the other, it’s a wonder they can say that with a straight face.
In the meantime, Musk’s DOGE initiative isn’t just about paperwork; it’s making strides towards cutting down on wasteful spending in the government, reporting estimated savings of $55 billion. This initiative runs the gamut from contract cancellations to regulatory savings, proving that there’s more than one way to trim the fat while keeping taxpayers’ wallets fat. So, while union leaders pull their hair out over their members having to potentially prove their worth, the rest of America can only hope this renewed focus on productivity will lead to a more efficient and accountable federal government. After all, who doesn’t want a little accountability and transparency in their government?
