Staff Reports
In a surprising yet satisfyingly bold maneuver, former President Trump has decided that the American taxpayer has had enough of footin’ the bill for Hunter and Ashley Biden’s Secret Service protection. This decision, delivered with a flourish on Truth Social, effectively dismantles what many see as a comical misuse of federal resources aimed at safeguarding a grown man whose accomplishments largely include a history of questionable choices and an art career that makes toddler finger-painting look seasoned.
Trump’s announcement revealed that the Biden family, particularly Hunter, has been backed by a whopping 31 Secret Service agents—18 for Hunter alone. One can almost hear the collective gasp of taxpayers as they realize that while they’re pinching pennies, the Biden family was living large with a security force that rivals the size of some small armies. During a lavish getaway in South Africa, a nation itself thrumming with human rights controversies, the revelation raises eyebrows about the priorities of a government supposedly looking after its citizens’ interests.
BREAKING: Trump Revokes Hunter Biden's Secret Service Protection #PJMedia https://t.co/0nqtosvIkY
— Matt Margolis (@mattmargolis) March 17, 2025
In a world where domestic heroes are often left to fend for themselves, watching Hunter Biden enjoy a cushy protection plan might seem like a cruel joke. Typically, adult children of former presidents lose their shields when their parents leave office, and while the Biden heirs were granted extensions like extra fries with lunch, this unnecessary extravagance seems to defy common sense. Temporarily extending Secret Service protection should not be a tradition upheld at the expense of fiscal sanity; a reminder that taxpayer dollars do not exist to perpetuate legacy gluttony.
Unsurprisingly, this announcement coincides with Hunter’s own legal woes. As he struggles under the weight of self-proclaimed financial despair, perhaps he should consider that self-reliance might look better than an army of agents trailing him through the land of safari. With claims of ‘significant debt’ and a disturbing drop in artistic sales post-presidency—one can’t help but marvel at the irony of his struggles while being escorted by agents likely tasked to ensure he doesn’t trip while hopping from one bad decision to another.
To wrap it all up, this decision to scrap taxpayer-funded security for Hunter Biden showcases a welcome return to logical governance. Why should everyday Americans be compelled to subsidize the safety of individuals who should, ideally, learn how to navigate life without a legion of enforcers? After all, Hunter has previously boasted about his intelligence, marketing himself as “the smartest guy” Joe Biden knows. If so, one would think he could come up with a more reasonable plan for ensuring his safety without draining the public coffers.
