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Trump SLAMS Colombian President Over Deported Criminals, He Backs Down

It’s always a thrilling spectacle when a leader refuses to bend over backward for self-proclaimed dictators and guess who’s taking center stage again? That’s right, it’s none other than Donald Trump! In a twist that could rival a Hollywood film script, Trump has made it abundantly clear that he won’t let any Third World communist dictator push him—or the United States—on how to treat illegal migrants, particularly those who don’t respect our laws.

Now, meet Gustavo Petro, the man who holds the title of Colombia’s president. In a move that can only be described as creative (albeit in a “let’s make the United States a dumping ground” kind of way), he decided to empty his prisons and mental institutions and send those citizens straight to America. No surprise there, right? After all, why deal with your problem when you can just send it to your neighbor and hope they don’t notice? But when it came time for the U.S. to send these illegal migrants back, Petro dared to declare that American planes wouldn’t be permitted to land. Oh, Petro, that’s a bold strategy. Let’s see if it pays off!

Well, as often happens when you stand on America’s toes, a response was just around the corner. Enter stage left: Matt Gaetz, the fiery congressman known for his ‘don’t mess with us’ attitude. Gaetz stepped in, warning Petro that the U.S. is ready and willing to send these “migrants” back, and it wouldn’t necessarily involve a friendly chat. In essence, that’s just about when things got interesting—because we all know that when Trump gets involved, the stakes go up.

Trying to outsmart America ended up being a costly mistake for Petro, who found himself realizing just how quickly things can change under Trump’s watch. Soon after news broke of Colombia denying repatriation flights, Trump hopped onto Truth Social—probably from his golf cart—to proclaim his wrath. And what do you know? Tariffs were set to skyrocket, visas were poised for revocation, and inspections of Colombian goods were about to get much tighter. In less time than it takes to finish a round of golf, Colombia realized it had kicked over a hornet’s nest. Remember, folks, when you mess around with a nation that can throw around tariffs like frisbees, it usually doesn’t end well for you.

In what seems to have turned into a game of international chicken, Colombia crumbled under pressure. Within the hour, President Petro was backpedaling faster than anyone could have imagined, announcing they were ready to accept their citizens back ASAP—complete with their presidential plane for a “dignified return.” Who knew ‘F around and find out’ could lead to such swift results? For those of you keeping score, that’s another notch in Trump’s belt, proving yet again that sometimes you just need to flex a little muscle.

While President Petro is probably regretting that hasty tweet, it serves as a reminder of how international political waters can be navigated with just the right amount of humor and strength—though leaning more on the latter. In the words of our buddy Matt Gaetz, friends don’t leave their trash in each other’s yards, and it appears America’s strong stance is around to make sure that message comes through loud and clear. Let’s raise a glass to diplomacy that not only gets the job done but does so with a sense of style—and an obligatory meme or two along the way.

Written by Staff Reports

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