Staff Reports
Anna Paulina Luna, head of President Trump’s task force on government secrets, recently threw a philosophical hand grenade into the historical discourse concerning President John F. Kennedy’s assassination. Suggesting that “two shooters” may have been involved—not just the infamous Lee Harvey Oswald—she’s opened the door to a new investigation that could make even the most reserved among conspiracy enthusiasts reach for their tinfoil hats.
It’s an interesting development, especially given the fact that a recent Gallup poll found two-thirds of Americans suspect there was more to the story than the Warren Commission’s single perpetrator scenario. Apparently, “one and done” is harder to sell than a half-off clearance sale at a gun show. Kennedy was gunned down during his Dallas motorcade in November 1963, and footage of the shooting continues to generate wild theories. One prevalent myth suggests a second shooter fired from the now-iconic grassy knoll—because what’s a good historical mystery without a little grassy knoll drama?
🚨 JFK ASSASSINATION UPDATE
“I believe there were two shooters”
Anna Paulina Luna at a Press Conference launching the new House Oversight Task Force on the Declassification of Federal Secrets.
— Adam Collett (@AdamCollettX) February 11, 2025
Luna isn’t merely joining the ranks of skeptics; she’s challenging the legitimacy of the so-called magic bullet theory, which claimed one bullet managed to take a scenic tour through both Kennedy and Texas Governor John Connally. If a Harry Potter movie can have multiple plot twists, it stands to reason that one bullet transforming into two is a stretch—even for the most accommodating of magic tricks.
Thanks to President Trump’s transparency push, the FBI now has 2,400 newly declassified records on the assassination, opening the floodgates for those who want to sift through historical haystacks for buried truths. One cannot help but picture a frantic team of investigators poking through stacks of dusty documents with single-minded determination. Will they find the missing pieces to the puzzle, or will they just uncover more bizarre yet oddly humorous theories about how time-traveling aliens were involved?
Luna is optimistic about the upcoming hearings, where no-nonsense witnesses—the folks who actually treated JFK—could provide some earth-shattering revelations. With everything from “second shooters” to “magic bullets” on the table, the only thing left to wonder is how many more chairs are going to be pulled up to this confrontational inquiry—is it an investigative assembly or just a “Who’s Who” of wacky witness testimony? Buckle up, America!
