Staff Reports
President-elect Donald Trump is promising quite the shakeup in Washington, D.C., so much so that the phrase “deep state” has become as common as “how’s the weather” in conversations among conservatives. Trump is ready to roll up his sleeves and tackle the federal workforce like a coach heading into the fourth quarter of a tight game. With various strategies outlined, he plans to transform the bureaucratic beast that has long plagued the capital city during his anticipated final four years in office. One can only imagine the level of chaos among the bureaucrats, scrambling to stockpile their favorite coffee mugs when they hear of the incoming administration’s plans.
One of Trump’s top priorities appears to include loosening the iron grip that has previously allowed federal employees to enjoy job security thicker than a used car salesman’s pitch. The president-elect aims to revive the Schedule F classification, which allows for quicker termination of federal workers. Under Joe Biden’s reign, protections for these workers were added back in—not that the Biden administration was particularly concerned about getting rid of the inefficiencies. Trump is less worried about the fate of those protected by union contracts than some might assume. He’s likely to start taking aim at the Justice Department, NSA, and CIA—because nothing says “drain the swamp” like a highly efficient government.
Beyond straightening out the federal worker roster, Trump’s plan also involves shifting jobs out of the D.C. swamp. Imagine moving a portion of the sprawling bureaucracy to places less buzzed about than our nation’s capital—a dream come true for many who have watched the government expand deeper than a Kardashian’s reality show. He previously accomplished this feat with the Bureau of Land Management by relocating it to Colorado. But in keeping with Washington’s flair for drama, the Biden administration backpedaled quicker than a politician caught on video. Despite criticism from the left, the relocation reportedly appealed to applicants who were tired of living within the D.C. bubble while dodging pigeons and politicians.
To make his promises a reality, Trump is prepping to collaborate with Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy on an initiative that would trim the federal workforce like a New Year’s resolution diet. Dubbed the Department of Government Efficiency, or DOGE (yes, as in the meme that made dogs internet famous), the new initiative aims to create a leaner, meaner government machine. Let’s not kid ourselves: Musk believes we’re stuck with too many bureaucrats weighing things down, and giving severance packages that would have employees vacationing instead of working sounds like a contest no one wants to win.
What could happen to DC’s federal workforce under Trump 2.0 https://t.co/AEq5pfHQ6O
— Washington Examiner (@dcexaminer) December 9, 2024
But it doesn’t just stop at firings and relocations; there’s also a federal mandate to return employees to in-office work. Remote work for federal employees has flourished, and reports have surfaced of them enjoying more bubble baths than breakthroughs while on the clock. Conservative lawmakers are buzzing about the likelihood of returning workers to their desks, where they can be monitored more closely—hopefully getting back to pre-pandemic commuting levels and reviving businesses that depend on these worker bees buzzing through downtown D.C. After all, who knew that federal employees commuting to work could double as a boost for local businesses?
Amid the prevailing sentiment that the federal workforce is a scene from an absurdist play, the expected Trump administration changes promise to deliver an entertaining act—a raucous blend of bureaucracy dismantling and economic revival. Whether it’s through swift firings, region reshuffling, or tackling remote work, it’s clear that Trump is not just heading back to the White House; he’s swooping in with a mission to shake up a federal workforce that, for too long, has danced too freely in the luxury of complacency.
