Staff Reports
In the world of politics, where excitement usually fills the air at rallies, one can sometimes stumble upon a scene that’s more flop than fiesta. Recently, the Democratic Party, known colloquially as the “party of the people,” faced some hilariously sparse crowd turnouts. One couldn’t help but chuckle when the mighty President himself, alongside Vice President Kamala Harris, spoke to what seemed like an echo of silence at a high school gym. It was as if they’d stumbled upon an impromptu indoor lacrosse practice, thanks to the “incentive” of extra credit for attending students. The images painted a thousand words, and most of them whispered “Awkward.”
Enter Gavin Newsom, the current governor of California and the Democrats’ apparent heir to the dusty throne. When he attempted to ignite some enthusiasm at his rally, the turnout could barely fill a modest-sized elevator. Newsom’s gathering of a variety pack of around 40 supporters seemed like a forgettable Monday noon meeting. The grand arena wasn’t necessary; instead, black curtains appeared to shrink the space, desperately attempting to mask the vacant seats. Oh, and the small crowd seemed boosted by the press more than genuine supporters, which is always great for an ego boost.
Adding a spicy twist to this mostly bland soup, outside Newsom’s rally, federal agents executed an immigration raid. It turns out that while Newsom was drumming up support inside, ICE was busy rounding up illegal immigrants trying to join. The timing seemed more calculated than a high-school math class, leaving Newsom and his fellow Democrats fuming. That aspect of the event outsparked the actual rally itself, as they were met with the fiery reaction of “how dare you” moments. It smacked of a scene straight out of a politically charged comedy.
As if that wasn’t enough, Newsom faced another blow from irate citizens. It seems some of the public, possibly troll experts, brought to Newsom’s attention, unsolicited, a campaign hat for Trump 2028. This left him with the image of a three-term Trump presidency haunting his daydreams – a nightmare for Democrats and amusement for Republicans. Let’s be honest, it’s like sending a commitment-phobic heartbreaker a wedding brochure, with his face on the cover.
For the onlooking conservatives, the spectacle felt less like a political rally and more like a comedy night. Democrats trying to spin the debacle seemed desperate to make it look like anything other than a defeat. Of course, on core conservative platforms, the scenario only reaffirmed what they’d been advocating: strict immigration policies and robust law enforcement. All in all, Newsom’s rally might not go down in history as a “successful political event,” but it might feature prominently in the “how not to” leaderboard.
