Biden Bends, Agrees to Pow-Wow with Hawkish Rep Johnson

President Joe Biden, the man with a smile that looks like it’s been stretched across the Grand Canyon, has apparently done a complete 180 and is now saying he’s “happy to meet” with House Speaker Mike Johnson, a sharp turn from his previous stone-cold rejections.

Johnson, the tough-talking representative from Louisiana, has been trying to wrangle a meeting with Biden for what feels like a century. He wants to chat about footing the bill for the Ukraine war and beefing up border security. It’s like trying to get a cat to take a bath—pretty darn difficult. But now, ol’ Joe seems to have had a change of heart.

“Sure, I’d be happy to meet with him if he has anything to say,” Biden nonchalantly remarked upon his return to the White House after a weekend at his beach house in Delaware. Must be nice to have a beach house. But I digress.

Just last week, Johnson was sounding like a broken record, griping about how he’d been begging for a sit-down with Biden to talk about the border and national security, but his pleas fell on deaf ears. It seems like Uncle Joe finally decided to pick up the phone.

And get this: Johnson’s been making some noise about how the recent demise of Russian troublemaker Alexei Navalny might just be the window of opportunity Biden needs to wrangle more funds for Ukraine. Now, Johnson is beating the drum, calling for the U.S. to do everything but throw the kitchen sink at Russia to stop their shenanigans.

But hold your horses, it’s not all roses and sunshine. Johnson is playing hard to get, demanding “accountability” for how the cash will be spent and threatening to throw a wrench in the works until Congress tackles border security. That’s like telling your mom you won’t eat your veggies until she buys you a new video game.

Meanwhile, Biden is strutting around issuing stern warnings and demanding Congress take swift action to rein in Russian President Vladimir Putin. It’s like he’s trying to rally the troops for war, but the only thing on the line is a hefty bill.

The cherry on top? Biden is also eyeing more sanctions on Russia, probably just to ruffle their feathers a bit more. So, it looks like there might finally be a meeting of the minds, or at least a meeting on the calendar, between these two political foes. But who knows how long this newfound friendship will last? Only time will tell in this latest political soap opera.

Written by Staff Reports

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