Hamas and Hezbollah Sneak In: Even Border Patrol Can’t Stop Them!

Oh boy, hold on to your cowboy hats, folks! The Customs and Border Protection (CBP) has just dropped a bombshell bulletin that’s got conservatives shaking in their boots. According to the fine folks at the CBP, it seems like those sneaky foreign fighters from Hamas and Hezbollah may be trying to sneak their way across our southern border. Yeehaw!

Now, ya’ll might be wonderin’ how the Daily Caller got its little paws on this top-secret material. Well, turns out they’re like a squirrel hoardin’ nuts, always findin’ those juicy tidbits. They got their hands on this bulletin just three days ago, and boy, is it a doozy. The headline alone is enough to make your heart skip a beat: “Watch Out, Y’all! Hamas and Hezbollah at Our Doorstep!”

But hold your horses, folks, ’cause it gets worse. The CBP data is showin’ that we’ve had a record-breaking 2.48 million encounters at the border this fiscal year. And get this, at least 172 of those encounters were with people on the good ol’ terror watch list. Can you believe it? Terrorists right in our own backyard!

Now, our favorite Fox News reporter, Peter Doocy, has been raisin’ some valid concerns about this whole shebang. He’s sayin’ that our border patrol is stretched thinner than a slice of bacon at a breakfast buffet. With agents bein’ pulled away to deal with fentanyl smugglin’ and sex traffickin’, these untracked terrorists might just take advantage of the whole mess. It’s like leavin’ the henhouse unguarded, folks.

And guess where our fearless leader, President Joe Biden, was when all this was goin’ down? He was kickin’ it at his fancy Rehoboth Beach House, relaxin’ while the world burns. I reckon he must’ve had a pleasant chat with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu not too long ago, but now he’s off enjoyin’ his weekend while we fend off potential terrorist threats. Ah, priorities.

Now, as a conservative, it’s mighty worryin’ to see global tensions racin’ like a herd of wild stallions. We got Hamas holdin’ Americans hostage, and Secretary of State Antony Blinken warnin’ us about Iran causin’ trouble. The Pentagon even went and moved more forces to the eastern Mediterranean. Can you believe it, folks? Our troops are on “ready to deploy” status. It’s like we’re playin’ a never-endin’ game of whack-a-mole with these troublemakers.

So, folks, buckle up and hold on tight, ’cause it looks like we’re in for a bumpy ride. The CBP’s bulletin has us on high alert, and rightly so. We need to secure our southern border like Fort Knox and make sure these foreign fighters stay far away from our beloved country. Let’s hope President Biden’s “Bidenomics” event later today includes some good ol’ common sense and a whole lot of action. Our safety depends on it, y’all!

Written by Staff Reports

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