Staff Reports
NASA’s latest escapade aboard the International Space Station resembles a game of high-stakes Jenga, but instead of wooden blocks, they’re dealing with spacecraft. With every bum aboard the ISS required to have a seat on a docked capsule, astronauts Barry Wilmore and Sunita Williams are at the mercy of NASA’s questionable decision-making. If an evacuation is ever necessary, accidentally playing musical chairs in space could spell disaster.
The odds of needing to evacuate are slim, but for some reason, NASA continues to entertain the idea of sending Wilmore and Williams back to Earth using Boeing’s notoriously troubled Starliner capsule. This brings about the unwelcome alternative of “Orbital Death Jenga,” a term coined to encapsulate the complex and dangerous task of timing the arrival of a new Dragon Crew capsule while simultaneously undocking Starliner. Docking space is about as limited as the supply of common sense in Washington, D.C., and this NASA operation is already appearing more like a recipe for chaos than a meticulous mission plan.
How About a Nice Game of Orbital Death Jenga? https://t.co/HUVDQxkFFF
— Thomas R Little (@tomlit1953) August 8, 2024
One might imagine that if Hollywood were in charge, asteroids would come crashing in just as the capsule swap was about to take place, forcing everyone into a thrilling rescue scenario. Thankfully, this isn’t a Michael Bay film, but the meticulous planning involved in these operations should resemble less of a shoot-’em-up adventure and more of a well-executed drill. Yet, given the lack of proper execution with Starliner, concerns over safety still loom large.
The underlying scandal here is rather unsettling. NASA postponed the next Dragon Crew launch from August 18 to September 24 to give Boeing some extra time to fix Starliner’s problematic software. It turns out Starliner launched with outdated automated flight software that violated the ISS’s rule that every vehicle must be capable of detaching without a crew. The decision to send a malfunctioning capsule into orbit could easily qualify as a governmental blunder of epic proportions, with serious ramifications that may lead to the termination of several heads—if there were any actual accountability at NASA.
In a bizarre twist, NASA appears to be downsizing its astronaut count from four to two to accommodate the return of butts aboard the malfunctioning Starliner. There is even talk that they may simply choose to let the Starliner burn up during reentry rather than attempt to land it, presumably in order to hide their embarrassment. It’s evident that this whole cluster—well, let’s call it a “conundrum”—is set to impact ISS operations for months, not to mention the ridicule awaiting the agency from America’s citizens tired of incompetence.
In summary, as the heavens above host this cosmic game of Tetris, one wonders if NASA has ever heard of preparation or contingency plans. Orbital Death Jenga may very well be the only title fitting for this comedy of errors that has everybody scratching their heads, ideally until someone learns that space exploration shouldn’t be run like a three-ring circus.
