Tim Ryan Suggests Replacing Biden with Harris for 2024

There must be something in the water up there in Ohio because former Democratic Rep. Tim Ryan just threw a curveball that no one saw coming. Forget the baseball analogies Democrats love to use—Biden isn’t just at strike one; he’s been benched by his own team.

Tim Ryan, who once danced around the presidential race himself in 2020, now seems to have had an epiphany. Ryan’s sudden urge to swap out President Biden with Kamala Harris as the 2024 Democratic nominee is as unexpected as rain in California. He’s labeling Biden’s debate performance as a “bridge collapse.” Oh, the bridge is out, all right, but everyone knows that ship had already sailed ages ago. Biden was supposedly the bridge to somewhere better, but it seems that bridge was more like a toll road to nowhere. Now Ryan wants to pave the way with a Harris upgrade. 


Ryan, who got a smackdown from Sen. J.D. Vance in the 2022 Senate race, insists it’s heartbreaking to watch Biden struggle. It’s like watching a rerun of the same sad movie, and Ryan is begging for someone to change the channel. He believes Harris is the magic bullet—oh, sorry, that’s not allowed—let’s say magic wand to fix everything. Kamala Harris, the same VP who’s about as popular as a root canal, is apparently the Democratic Party’s best bet. Sure, because her communication skills on abortion and infrastructure have been so stellar, right? Maybe if one likes their communication shrouded in word salads and awkward cackles.

Ryan’s call is set against a backdrop of other jittery Democrats who apparently are figuring out that Biden’s “Jedi mind tricks” don’t really work on the American public. Rep. Mike Quigley even suggested Biden should be honest with himself. Imagine that: honesty in politics! Quigley implies Biden’s performance was a train wreck—not just bad luck, but a full-blown catastrophe. The Democratic lawmakers are lining up to defend Biden with all the fervor of a soggy noodle, admitting his stumble was a setback but still clinging to the hope he can win over America in the next few months. Bless their hearts.

On the flip side, Republicans are pouncing on Biden’s performance like a cat on a laser pointer. Rep. Chip Roy has already filed a resolution to activate the 25th Amendment, hoping to see Harris step in as acting president. For a party that’s usually about as cohesive as a cat herding exercise, the GOP is suddenly super organized at the mere whiff of Biden’s latest flop.

Meanwhile, the White House is treating this like a pesky fly—nothing some campaigning in New York can’t fix. Biden is out there declaring he has the heart and soul to carry on. Well, persistence is admirable, but maybe someone should remind him it’s not just about having heart and soul. It’s about having competency and a grasp of reality.

So here we are, watching an internal Democratic squabble that’s more entertaining than a reality TV show, and Republicans poised to capitalize on the chaos. Someone grab the popcorn.

Written by Staff Reports

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