Staff Reports
A wave of angst swept through the eco-warrior community like a bad tofu burrito after Donald Trump unveiled his latest energy secretary pick. Chris Wright, the mastermind behind fracking innovation and the CEO of Denver-based Liberty Energy, has been chosen to steer the Energy Department. This has resulted in so much green rage that the sun might actually have to put on sunglasses just to cope with the glare of their anger.
Wright’s nomination was met with cheers from those who believe in American energy independence and the concept that we don’t have to rely on foreign sources for our fuel. With a catchphrase reminiscent of a robust campaign back in 2008—”Drill, baby, drill!”—Wright is set to prioritize our nation’s energy autonomy like a kid in a candy store but with oil rigs instead of sugar. The oil and gas industry is practically throwing confetti, with Mike Sommers of the American Petroleum Institute gushing about how Wright’s experience will undoubtedly bolster U.S. dominance on the global energy stage.
Trump Picks Fracking Boss As Next Energy Secretary https://t.co/W9tQqV32Ef
— zerohedge (@zerohedge) November 17, 2024
But hold onto your compost bins, for the reaction from the green crowd resembles a scene from a Shakespearean tragedy. The Natural Resources Defense Council’s Jackie Wong lamented the choice, painting Wright as a poster child for “dirty fossil fuels” and calling this appointment a catastrophic error. One can only imagine her reaction was so dramatic that even the local wildlife would need to take cover. Wong insists that the Energy Department should be focusing on energy sources of the future rather than clinging to fuels of the past. News flash: it turns out that the “core mission” of the Department isn’t centered around eco-friendliness but rather on maintaining the nation’s energy and nuclear security—facts be damned.
Energy state senators are rolling out the red carpet for Wright, seeing him as a beacon of hope after a presidency that many would have called “America Last.” Wyoming’s Republican Senator John Barrasso has already taken it upon himself to declare Wright an energy guru fit to rejuvenate U.S. policies. Barrasso’s enthusiasm is palpable; he makes it sound like Wright is poised to turn the tides in the quest for energy independence faster than you can say “jobs, jobs, jobs.”
If Wright is confirmed, he will not be going solo. North Dakota Governor Doug Burgum is set to enter the fray as well, ensuring that Trump’s energy vision will be a formidable force. Together, they will form a new National Energy Council, which has been tasked with total energy domination—yes, you read that right. The “energy dominance” narrative could become more than just a phrase; it might lead the United States into a new energy renaissance.
Thomas Pyle, a prominent fixture in the energy philosophy of the right, summed it up well: Wright is an exceptional choice who could very well slingshot America back to the top of the energy ladder worldwide. Picture this: a savvy operator with the knowledge and determination to liberate the energy sector from the constraints of petty environmental politics. The future of American energy looks bright, and in the words of a certain pop culture icon, it feels like it’s about to get a whole lot louder.
