White House Scrambles with New Excuses for Biden’s Debate Disaster

The White House’s latest circus act raised more concerns about President Joe Biden’s ability to do the job. Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre threw herself into the ring again, first blaming Biden’s disastrous debate skills on a cold, and now adding jet lag to the list of excuses. Depending on which day you catch them, Biden could be dealing with anything from sniffles to severe jet-lag dementia.

Biden’s performance at the debate became the stuff of legend, but not in a good way. Jean-Pierre claims they’re not making excuses, just offering explanations — a distinction lost on anyone with common sense. After finding himself face-to-face with donors midweek, Biden suddenly recalled that jet lag was wreaking havoc on his cognitive functions. This revelation prompted Jean-Pierre to execute some world-class mental gymnastics, admitting she forgot to mention the jet lag due to being so fixated on Biden’s cold. Seems like it’s a full-time job just keeping the excuses straight.

Curiously, the White House has yet to explain how exactly one suffers from jet lag 12 days after returning from Europe. As if debating fueled by NyQuil wasn’t enough, now the administration expects the public to believe Biden’s equilibrium has been thrown off since his trip. Let’s not forget his reported week of afternoon napping at Camp David. How uneventful — even restful — that must have been.

In an attempt to salvage the situation, Jean-Pierre reassured the press that Biden’s disastrous debate wasn’t his finest hour and that he’s full speed ahead in his quest to undermine the country. Questions about whether Biden is considering stepping down were met with firm denials. They continue to adamantly insist Biden is fit for office, despite every new excuse suggesting otherwise.

In a desperate effort to defend Biden’s work ethic, Jean-Pierre bragged that he works tirelessly from 10:00 am to 4:00 pm — practically part-time hours by any real American’s standard. She dodged questions about his nap schedule, instead claiming this president puts Americans first. Evidently, Americans must hold their breath hoping Biden’s “work” doesn’t take a detrimental turn for the nap.

Deflecting calls for medical transparency, Jean-Pierre assured that the Biden administration is the most open in history. Yet, when pressed about further medical evaluations for Biden, she skirted those questions just like the last batch. Her declarations of transparency fall flat when every press conference becomes an exercise in evasion and excuse-making.

Meanwhile, notable outlets like The New York Times and CNN reported that Biden privately admitted his campaign could be sunk if he doesn’t quickly convince the public he’s capable. And it looks like some members of his own party agree. Rep. Lloyd Doggett broke ranks, calling for Biden to step aside. Several other Democrats fear that with Biden on the ticket, Trump’s 2024 victory could be a shoo-in.

But hey, if you care about this country, you just “push through,” right? Guess we’ll all need some jet lag-induced delusion to buy that line.

Written by Staff Reports

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