Biden’s Ancestor Pardoned by Lincoln: Crime in the Bloodline!

President Joe Biden has more skeletons in his closet than a haunted house! Reports have surfaced that his great-great-grandfather, Moses Johnson Robinette, was a convicted criminal who got off easy thanks to a presidential pardon from the legendary Abraham Lincoln. Can you believe it? It seems like trouble runs in the Biden family tree!

Robinette’s crime? He allegedly stabbed a fellow Union Army employee after a dispute over an inappropriate comment made about a female cook. Talk about a short fuse! And get this, he wasn’t even a trained doctor or vet, yet he was serving as a veterinary surgeon in the Army. It’s like putting a clown in charge of a circus!

During his court-martial, Robinette claimed self-defense, but the jury found him guilty on most charges. He ended up on Dry Tortugas Island, which was basically the Alcatraz of the South back in the day. But lo and behold, a few well-placed officers and a senator swooped in to play the sympathy card for old Moses. Isn’t it convenient how connections can change the course of justice?

Abraham Lincoln, always the soft touch, decided to let Robinette off the hook with a pardon. Just like that, a would-be murderer was back on the streets in no time. It’s a good thing Lincoln didn’t have to deal with today’s cancel culture or he might have thought twice before granting that get-out-of-jail-free card.

So, next time President Biden talks tough, just remember his family’s history with crime and punishment. It makes you wonder what other surprises are lurking in the presidential family tree.

Written by Staff Reports

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