Biden’s New Jersey Fundraiser Fantasy Claims Debate Gaffes Won Voters

Joe Biden must have an unparalleled gift for rewriting history. At a recent fundraiser in New Jersey, he spun a tale so tall it’d make Pinocchio blush. Biden had the audacity to claim that his gaffe-a-thon during the debate actually swayed more undecided voters to his side than Donald Trump could ever dream of. Insert laugh track here, folks.

Apparently, Biden believes that his 90-minute mishap fest during the debate was a stroke of pure genius. According to him, viewers were so bowled over by his bumbling that they just had to cast their votes in his favor. He even brought up January 6th, claiming it was Trump’s actions that did him in during those critical moments. Someone must get his cornflakes away from Stephen King novels because this story has more fiction than fact.

The 81-year-old’s debate debacle sent Democrats and Republicans alike into a frenzy. Calls for Biden to step down grew louder, not just because of his age but owing to this persistent battle with coherence. It’s as if the nation’s grandpa had wandered onto the debate stage, and the whole country collectively thought, “It’s time for him to take a nap.”

Even First Lady Jill Biden tried spinning this into some sort of anomaly, asserting that it was just one bad night. Perhaps she missed his earlier public performances rife with blunders and memory lapses. The list is longer than Hunter Biden’s excuse list!


Political pollster Frank Luntz added some science to the situation, organizing a focus group of undecided voters post-debate. Out of 14 participants, 10 declared their allegiance to Trump. Luntz, a polling veteran of over 25 years, had never seen such a decisive result. If that isn’t a wake-up call, then nothing is.

Meanwhile, DNC Chairman Jaime Harrison seems determined to continue the charade. He insisted that true support for Biden remains solid, particularly in the Black community. Harrison claimed to see a familial sense of loyalty and galvanization, painting a picture of a candidate who is still beloved. One wonders how long this mirage can last before it, too, comes crashing down like Biden’s hoped-for debate performance.

Written by Staff Reports

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