Staff Reports
In a galaxy far, far away from common sense, NASA plunged into the depths of the Twilight Zone during a recent total eclipse event. While most of us expect NASA to be the pinnacle of rocket science wizardry, it seems they’ve taken a detour into the land of diversity quotas and questionable degrees. That’s right, folks, enter Dr. David Begay, a self-proclaimed expert in “Indigenous Education and Application of Traditional Knowledge.” Hold onto your hats, folks, we are about to blast off into the absurd.
A Total Eclipse of the Dumbhttps://t.co/7dsjkzmZLw
— RedState (@RedState) April 10, 2024
During a live broadcast filled with real astronauts and actual scientists, NASA decided to throw a curveball by featuring Dr. Begay and his poli-sci degree with a side of “Indian Policy” emphasis. Forget about actual scientific credentials, apparently, all you need is a vague connection to the word “science” to make the cut. As the good doctor rambled on about ancestral elders and cosmic cycles, the nation collectively scratched their heads in bewilderment.
But wait, there’s more! NASA, under the tender care of the Biden administration, has been on a wild goose chase for diversity and inclusion. Contracts are being handed out like Halloween candy to “underserved communities,” and employees are being asked to proclaim their pronouns in emails. And who would’ve thought that NASA and the Navajo Nation would become besties, bonding over their shared passion for, well, who knows what? According to NASA, the Navajo’s “traditional ways of knowing” are just as scientific as, well, real science.
As if that wasn’t enough to send Galileo spinning in his grave, NASA’s Education and Communications Lead, Daniella Scalice, boldly declared that Navajo kids must first delve into their Stone Age beliefs before dabbling in STEM. Move over, Newton, the Navajo tribe has it all figured out with their sacred number four and mystical connections to the stars. Forget about rigorous scientific theories, let’s just consult the local medicine men for our next rocket launch.
Dear readers, brace yourselves for a brave new world where actual rocket scientists are replaced by diversity ambassadors, and eclipse science is nothing more than a cosmic joke. Perhaps it’s time to bring back the steely-eyed missile men from yesteryear and bid farewell to this bizarre eclipse of the dumb. NASA, Houston, we have a problem – and it’s not just a lack of sunscreen during a solar event.
