Newsom Backs Biden in DC, Sidesteps Presidential Ambitions Amid Party Strife

California Governor Gavin Newsom, the poster child for progressive politics, headed to Washington on Wednesday to demonstrate support for President Biden’s reelection bid. Let’s just say it sounds about as enticing as standing in line at the DMV for a voter ID application.

Newsom, for whom politics seems to run in his fashionable hair gel as much as his blood, was sent by his campaign spokesperson to stand beside Biden. It’s like playing second fiddle to an out-of-tune orchestra. Alongside other Democratic governors, Newsom appears ready to smile and nod, all while insiders likely take bets on when the next teleprompter disaster will strike.

Whispers around the Democratic water cooler suggest Gavin’s name as a possible substitute for Sleepy Joe. Let’s be honest, after that cringe-worthy performance in Georgia, even a garden gnome might have better standing. Yet, amidst the cacophony of calls for Biden to step aside, Newsom has taken the role of loyal cheerleader, pom-poms and all, insisting he won’t take the mantle from the president.

Newsom declared that ditching Biden because of one debate disaster would be unnecessary and unhelpful. He makes it sound like they’re navigating a bad high school musical, where the lead’s flubbed lines are met with a standing ovation from the PTA. According to him, Biden has “delivered” over the past four years — perhaps more gaffes and fumbles than Amazon Prime deliveries.

The governor’s resounding message: don’t dump Biden over one bad night. With a straight face, Newsom claims that this debacle was a “master class.” Right, just like how falling off a bike could be championed as Olympic-level gymnastics. It seems the Democrats are doubling down, hoping that if they repeat “he has delivered” enough times, maybe folks will start to believe it. Until then, one can only watch and wonder: what’s next in this political circus?

Written by Staff Reports

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