Staff Reports
House Republicans are in a bit of a pickle, folks! They’re meeting behind closed doors, which always makes it feel like they’re plotting something sneaky, to find a new Speaker of the House. And let me tell you, this new Speaker is going to have one heck of a job. They’ll have to corral a wild coalition that thinks it can govern, all while trying to show off its impressive wrangling skills. Good luck with that!
House GOP Holding New Speaker Election Today; Here's What We Knowhttps://t.co/9KdNbLwhxf
— 🇺🇸🇺🇸Josh Dunlap🇺🇲🇺🇲 ULTRA-MAGA (@JDunlap1974) October 11, 2023
But wait, there’s more! Before this closed-door meeting, they had a private briefing on Israel’s fight against Hamas. Now, that’s some serious stuff. It’s got the GOP feeling all urgent and stuff, calling for Congress to give some cold hard cash to our ally. And why not? Israel needs our support, especially now. Without a clear leader, though, the House has been about as useful as a screen door on a submarine. Yeah, that bad.
Rep. Kat Cammack from sunny Florida had something to say about all this hoopla. She said, and I quote, “I don’t know if by the end of this week, we will have a speaker.” Wow, sounds like things are going swimmingly, don’t they? If she had been asked a few days ago, pre-Israel drama, she would’ve said it would take a whole month to find a speaker. Yikes! Talk about a delay.
Now, let’s get to the juicy part. It’s like a showdown at the OK Corral, folks. Two main contenders are vying for the Speaker’s seat: Rep. Jim Jordan from Ohio, who’s been leading the charge against Hunter Biden, and Rep. Steve Scalise from Louisiana, who’s a cancer-fighting tough guy that survived being shot by a left-wing clown in 2017. Talk about intense! These guys are on fire.
But here’s the thing, my conservative friends. This back-and-forth might not lead to anything fruitful. In fact, some smarty pants reporter called Jake Sherman said he’s never seen the GOP so “discombobulated, rudderless, and confused.” Ouch! Can you imagine? All that confusion and they still need to figure out a plan before the federal government’s funding runs out in two weeks. Yikes!
Now, here’s a real kicker for you. Some members of Congress are pushing for a change in the rules. They want half of Congress, that’s 217 members, to decide on the Speaker, instead of just the majority party. Sneaky, sneaky. Of course, the Democrats would never go along with that, so it’s basically asking for a miracle. And let me tell you, miracles are hard to come by in politics.
Speaking of miracles, both former Speaker Kevin McCarthy and the one and only Donald Trump have said they’d be open to taking on the Speaker role if needed. Can you believe it? But let’s be real here, folks. The chances of either of them actually becoming Speaker today are as slim as a spaghetti noodle. Trump has even thrown his support behind Jim Jordan because, well, he’s a conservative firecracker.
So, buckle up, folks. It looks like the GOP House is in for a wild ride. Just remember, when things seem chaotic, it’s usually because politicians are involved. That’s just how the cookie crumbles in the wonderful world of politics!
