Staff Reports
Alright, buckle up, because this is gonna be a wild ride through the swampy, crime-ridden streets of Washington, D.C. You better hold on to your hat, because we’re delving into the drama of U.S. Attorney Matthew Graves and his tough-on-crime antics. Get ready for some serious eye-rolling and head-shaking, folks!
So, first things first, let’s talk about the Capitol breach on Jan. 6. You know, the whole shebang where some folks got a little too rowdy at the Capitol? Well, U.S. Attorney Graves has been unleashing the fury of Justice on these so-called “rioters” like someone just stole his last chicken nugget. He’s been slapping them with charges left and right, from trespassing all the way to seditious conspiracy. Like, come on, buddy, it’s not that serious! But Graves is out here acting like he’s trying to make a name for himself by taking down every Tom, Dick, and Harry who stepped foot in the Capitol that day.
Capital punishment: Top DC prosecutor brought hundreds of Jan. 6 charges while declining to prosecute some city violence https://t.co/vGhg7Giw9g via @dcexaminer
— S Trippe (@strippe) March 13, 2024
Oh, and let’s not forget about the real juicy stuff – the crime rates in D.C. Do you know how bad it’s gotten? Homicides, guns, robberies, and carjackings, oh my! The city’s been looking more like the Wild West than the nation’s capital. And who’s been at the helm while all this chaos unfolds? You guessed it, folks – U.S. Attorney Graves!
He’s been taking his sweet time prosecuting these local hooligans. I mean, come on, Graves, get with the program! The crime rates are through the roof, and all you can do is focus on those Jan. 6 troublemakers? Priorities, man, priorities!
But wait, it gets even better. Graves’ declination rate – that’s the rate at which his office decides not to prosecute folks who’ve been arrested – hit a mind-boggling 67% in 2022. That’s right, two-thirds of the baddies getting off scot-free! And even when he managed to bring that rate down a tad in 2023, it was still sky-high at 56%. Is this guy for real?
Graves tried to explain himself, throwing out stats and excuses left and right, like some kind of magician pulling rabbits out of his hat. He blamed the high declination rate on a drug lab shutdown and victim objections, but come on, buddy, we all know you’ve got some explaining to do!
And as if that wasn’t enough, Graves has been shipping in prosecutors from all corners of the country to handle the Jan. 6 cases. Can you believe that? Instead of focusing on the real crime plaguing D.C., he’s got prosecutors from Boston and Los Angeles traipsing around the courtroom like it’s a sightseeing tour. Talk about a circus!
So, there you have it, folks. U.S. Attorney Matthew Graves is stirring up more trouble than he’s solving in Washington, D.C. It’s like he’s playing a game of political chess while the city crumbles around him. Maybe he should trade in his gavel for a map and try to find his way back to reality!
